Inappropriate Times To Play Songs in The Hunger Games
by TheFluffiestUnicorn
Summary: So, I decide to jump into the Hunger Games, and I bring my iPod with me... Terrible Crack-fic. You've been warned.


**EDIT: That awkward moment where you change your pename and are to lazy to change it in the story...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games. I also do not own the songs used in this.**

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THE MOST TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE TIMES TO PLAY SONGS IN THE HUNGER GAMES:

1. THE REAPING

Although technically not part of the Games, playing music in District 12 during the reaping results in an awkward moment for everyone. Observe:

Prim was nervous. Not butterflies-in-the-stomach-nervous, but I-might-wee-my-pants-and-have-everyone-laugh-at-me-nervous. Prim watched as the Pink Afro Lady, AKA Effie Trinket, picked out a girl's name from the lottery. If Prim wasn't busy wetting herself, she would've noticed the incredibly awesome author Ice Hearts playing Lady Gaga songs on her IPod.

_Don't call my name,_

_Don't call my name_

Ice Hearts lent over and whispered to Prim;

"Not my favourite Gaga song, but it fits the moment. Wouldn't you agree?" Prim nodded absent-mindedly and reminded herself that the voice inside her head talking about Lady Gaga wasn't real.

"Primrose Everdeen!" Prim was brought back into reality when she head Effie call her name.

"OH CRAP NO!" Prim yelled.

_I'm just a kid, _

_And life is a nightmare_

Meanwhile…

Katniss just registered what happened when she heard the awesome voice of Usher in her ear,

_O-o-o-o-o-oh my god!_

Later…

Peeta shook hands with Katniss, and narrowly avoided the urge to kiss her. Peeta felt a tap on his shoulder, and turned around to see a teenage girl staring at him.

"Nice to meet you Peeta, I'm Ice Hearts, and I'm here to help you with your love issues with Katniss. Now I know you haven't just met her, but it's a good song anyway."

Peeta clearly looked confused when he saw Ice Hearts take her IPod out of her designer bag, and choose a song.

_Hey, I just met you,_

_And this is crazy,_

_But here's my number,_

_So call me, maybe?_

Katniss heard this and thought Peeta sung it and slapped him.

"Peeta, you're a dick!" Katniss yelled. "And you sing like a girl!"

2. WITH THE CAREERS IN THE ARENA

The five careers trekked though the forest. Marvel and Glimmer from 1, Cato and Clove from 2 and Fish Girl from 4. As they were about to kill the girl in front them, which they assumed was a tribute, she screamed.

"STOP! I'm not a tribute! I'm an author from Australia, which is not Panem! So don't kill me! I'll get my lawyers on you if you do!" she yelled. Clove narrowed her eyes.

"How do we know you're not lying?" Clove asked suspiciously.

"Because," the author, Ice Heats said, "I am typing this story now as we speak. I can make you do anything. _ANYTHING._ Like this, I can make Cato and Marvel cross dress."

And it was true. With the snap of her fingers, Cato and Marvel were dressed in short, red dresses accessorised with high heals and ruby earrings. The girl careers burst out laughing. Marvel and Cato looked ready to kill.

'WE'RE GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!" they yelled. Ice Hearts laughed.

"You can't. I'm the author of this story, so what I say goes." she smirked. "But… I suppose you can be back in your usual clothes."

And with the magic typing keyboard, they were dressed as normal.

"Okay, so you careers do your thing. I'll just be in the bushes stalking, err, watching your backs, Yes that's what I'll do. I'll alert you if anything happens." Ice Hearts said, walking back into the bushes.

The careers shrugged, and went back on their killing spree, laughing and skipping as they went.

_We're off to see the wizard,_

_The wonderful wizard of Oz,_

_He's a very wizzy wizard,_

_The wonderful wizard of Oz _

"What the hell is that?" Cato turned around. Ice Hearts waved from the bushes.

"I'm just adding background music!" Ice Hearts called back. Cato took out his sword.

"I don't care if you're the author of this crap story, I'm still KILLING YOU!"

"Eek!" Ice Hearts ran away as fast as she could. Looks like playing netball did increase you speed.

3. IN THE TRAIN TO THE CAPITOL

Haymitch and his drunken self looked at this year's tributes, definitely two of the ugliest ones.

"I'm not here to keep you alive." He said.

"Then what are you here for?" Katniss questioned.

_I'm here for you entertainment_

"What was that?" Haymitch looked up. The music had blocked his answer.

Little did they know that Ice Hearts was now currently hiding under the table.

Later…

Katniss dug her knife into the table into the table. Effie shrieked.

"That is mahogany!" She yelled. And then a parody of Call me maybe started playing.

_Snow's gonna kill me,_

_Cause he lent to me,_

_Why couldn't you die,_

_In the Games?_

_It was special edition, _

_Snow had to collect 10 000 post stamps _

_Why couldn't you die,_

_In the Games?_

_Snow's gonna kill me,_

_Cause he lent to me,_

_Why couldn't you die,_

_In the Games?_

_I don't know why _

_Peeta loves you,_

_Why couldn't you die,_

_In the Games?_

Katniss' mouth dropped open.

"Effie, SAY WHAT!"

4. IN THE CAVE

Katniss was busy making out with Peeta when Ice Hearts snuck in and started to play Party Rock Anthem.

_Everyday I'm shuffling. _

_*Music Break* _

Katniss and Peeta stared staring.

"What?" Ice Hearts asked, "Don't you like LMFAO? Oh, I know! I'll play the Hunger Games parody of this song!"

_Lot's of tributes in the Games today,_

_But only one can win and walk away_

_Twenty three are gonna lose their lives_

_Let's hope a worthy tribute will win and survive_

_Lot's of tributes in the Games today,_

_But only one can win and walk away_

_Katniss can really use a bow_

_We just wanna see her, kill Cato_

The two continued staring.

"What now? This is comedy gold!"

5. IN MY DREAM OF FINNICK AND CATO FIGHTING OVER ME

Oh wait, this didn't really happen so I can't really write about it…

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**Wasn't that terrible? If anyone was wondering, my friend wrote the call me maybe parody. She's thinking of making a video to go with it. The Party Rock Anthem parody is on YouTube, so check it out if you haven't already. And I DO NOT dream of Finnick and Cato fighting over me. The idea popped in to my head.**

**Ice Hearts (who is now TheFluffiestUnicorn)**

**PS. Thanks so much for the reviews! xx**


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